April Fools
by DaMasta
Summary: I know it's not near April Fools day, but I couldn't resist! Can Zim survive April Fools day? My second Zim fic, please r/r


APRIL FOOLS  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Zim. Now read the fic already!  
  
Once again, a normal morning. As usual, Zim was getting his disguise on, while Gir ran around, crashing into random objects.  
  
"MASTER!!! LOOKATMEEEEEE!!!" Gir shouted, as he crashed into a trash can.  
  
"Gir, pipe down! I can't get my human eyes on with all the noise you're making!" Zim kept trying to get his eyes on, but every time Gir crashed, the eyes would slip and scratch his normal eyes.  
  
"I understand," said Gir in that weird way of his.  
  
Zim looked at the clock. 8:15. If he didn't get ready soon, he'd be late for Skool. And if Ms. Bitters caught him late again...Zim shuddered as he remembered having to spit-shine every desk and window in the classroom. He finished getting his eyes on, and started walking out the door, almost forgetting his hair. As Zim opened the door, the action caused the robotic dad to roll over to the entrance.  
  
"Welcome home, son!" it yelled stupidly. Zim punched it in its robotic gut, shut the door, and began his hike toward the Skool. He was slightly surprised to see Dib waiting for him.  
  
"Zim! Sorry to bug you so early in the morning...Actually, I'm not sorry...But I don't want to miss a minute of your reaction of today's schedule!" Dib seemed to be filled with happiness...  
  
"What the heck are you talking about?" Zim raised an eyebrow at the gleeful Dib.  
  
"This!" Dib held out a flower.  
  
"Dib, what is going on? I don't want that filthy thing." Zim tried to grab it so he could crumple it up.  
  
"Just smell it, Zim. You know you want to." Dib was giggling under his breath, his toothy grin growing wider.  
  
"If I sniff it, will you go away?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Fine, I'll sniff your stupid earth flower." Zim bent down to sniff the flower. But as he did, water squirted out of it, and as it did, Zim's head started sizzling again. Zim grabbed the sides of his head, shouting in pain. He fell to the ground, still screeching.  
  
"April fools, alien scum!" Dib was roaring with laughter, as he kicked dirt on the pained alien.  
  
After Zim recuperated, he stumbled onto his feet, and clenched a fist. "April fools? What is this?"  
  
Dib smiled. "April Fools day is the first day of April, and it's the day we all play pranks on eachother. Like this!"  
  
Dib squirted Zim with the flower again. Zim fell to the ground.  
  
"Dib?" Zim looked very angry.  
  
"What is it?"   
  
There was a loud thud. As Dib moaned, laying on the ground, clutching his pants, Zim walked off chuckling to himself.  
  
When Zim reached Skool, he saw people pulling pranks left and right. He shrugged it off until he reached the classroom. He couldn't grab the doorknob to open the door. It was too slippery.  
  
"What's wrong with this inferior wooden implement!?" Zim tried and tried to open the door. He never could. Suddenly, Keef came up behind him.  
  
"Hi, Zim! April fools, buddy! I put lotion on the doorknob! To open it, you have to wash the lotion off." Keef was bouncing with enthusiasm like always. "Hey Zim, think fast!" Keef squirted Zim with a water squirting flower. As Zim groaned in pain again, he made a note to himself: He hated April Fools.  
  
Keef squirted the lotion off with his flower, and the two of them walked into class. Zim sat in his seat, while shooting an angry look at Keef. As the bell rang, students piled into the classroom, holding tons of different things, like hand buzzers, more flowers, gum mousetraps, soap cookies, and more.  
  
Dib walked into the classroom, trying not to seem angry. "No hard feelings about this morning, Zim. It's April Fools day, and I just had to do it. Let's forget the whole thing." Dib held out his hand to Zim. Zim decided to reluctantly accept the handshake...And was zapped by a hand buzzer Dib had.  
  
"April fools! You're a real sucker, Zim." Dib chuckled, and sat in his seat.  
  
Zim groaned and tried to shake the pain out of his hand. "Today will drag on forever..."  
  
Ms. Bitters entered the room in that snake-like way of hers. She began to teach the class about how the sun will one day explode, and hurtle the Earth into the deepest reaches of space.  
  
Zim wasn't paying attention. He was trying to think up the perfect way to get revenge on Dib for all his jokes.  
  
Recess wasn't much better for Zim. As he sat on the tire swing, trying to think of a way to get revenge, Dib cut the strings the tire swing hung off of, and Zim landed on his butt with a loud thud. "April fools!"  
  
When Zim tried to get some peace on the jungle gym, Dib pushed Zim off, where he landed on a miniature trampoline Dib placed, then bounced into a puddle of mud. "April fools!"  
  
Then, when Zim was walking around near the foursquare courts, Dib tipped the ball box over, and a stampede of balls trampled Zim, tripping him. He fell to the ground face first. "April fools!"  
  
Zim was sure of it now: He hated April Fools day.  
  
At lunchtime, it wasn't much better. Especially because it was Ketchup and Rice day. But that's beside the point.  
  
Dib shoved Zim's face into his food. "April fools!"  
  
Dib flinged mashed potatoes and peas at Zim. "April fools!"  
  
Dib threw pudding into the air. It landed on Zim's spoonful of mashed potatoes as he ate it. "April fools!"  
  
(A/N: Have you ever had pudding and mashed potatoes in one spoonful? Don't try it...)  
  
Zim was in the bathroom, finishing his seventh hurl. "Oh, I'll get that Dib...He won't know the meaning of April Fools when I'm through with him!" Zim cackled.  
  
Later, when it was finally time for everyone to go home, Zim was still trying to plot how to get back at Dib. At the same time, Dib was bragging to Gaz.  
  
"It was great! I got him real good, Gaz. There was the tire swing, and the balls, and the mud, and the potatoes...And you can't forget that thing with the pudding..." Dib was reciting all his credits.  
  
"Dib, shut up. I don't care how badly you got the green kid. I'm almost finished with my game, and if I don't finish, I'll be very angry. And trust me, Dib, you don't want me angry." Gaz turned back to her Gameslave. She was on level four hundred something and still hadn't finished.  
  
Dib ignored her and began to remember Zim hurling from the potatoes and pudding again.  
  
"I don't get it! Why do these stink-beasts enjoy this April Fools day so much!?" Zim took the lobster out of his pants and threw it at the wall. It flew to pieces.  
  
"Would you like some dinner, honey?" asked the robot mom in a stupid voice. It proceeded to throw raw noodles at Zim's head.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODLESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gir ran into the room and started munching the raw noodles.  
  
Zim threw the noodles on his head at Gir, and sent the robot mother back to her closet.  
  
"I must create the perfect April Fools joke for Dib..." Zim went back to his thinking as Gir danced for no apparent reason. "...I've got it!"  
  
When the mail came to Dib's house, there were two letters. One was for Gaz.  
  
"Dear Gaz,  
  
You've been invited to do something or other that involves something or other that I'm sure you'd enjoy. It will be held down the street, near the Skool or something, far away from your house. Please attend, or we will be forced to destroy you.  
  
Signed,  
Anonymous."  
  
Gaz, while not knowing exactly what this letter was talking about, walked down to the Skool. The other letter was for Prof. Membrane.  
  
"Dear Membrane,  
  
There is something sciencey that you need to do, across town, far away from your house. Come as soon as you can or we will destroy you.  
  
Signed,  
Someone you know."  
  
Membrane packed up his science stuff and yelled "There's something sciencey I need to do, I'll be back later!" through the house for Dib to hear.  
  
Then, after Gaz and Membrane left, Zim snuck onto the property.  
  
He began by attaching small purple things on the corners of the house. Then, he started connecting them up via infra-red to a small remote control. After that, he knocked on the door. Dib answered.  
  
Zim backed up, and readied the remote. "April fools, pi-ti-ful huuuman!" He pressed the button.  
  
Dib quickly closed the door, because he expected a laser from the remote. All of a sudden, the house started shaking. The purple things Zim attached started to energize. They turned into rocket thrusters and the house was jettisoned into space. Dib looked out his window and saw he was in space. He started screaming.  
  
Back on Earth, Zim was chuckling. He started walking back to his house. He loved April Fools day...  



End file.
